FUNERAL
TO DO:
-Find a funeral director
-Look at The Good Funeral Guide
Planning a funeral is not something many people want to think about until they have to.
Fear not, your funeral director should guide you through most things and help with the logistics and decisions required but we suggest you also download the Essential Sadmin Checklist so you can tick things off.
Choosing a funeral director isn’t an everyday occurrence so you might want to ask someone you know locally who’s been through a loss for a recommendation.
Or find one through The Good Funeral Guide, or the National Association of Funeral Directors.
Your loved one may already have decided what kind of ceremony they want as some people like to plan or may have discussed their wishes with you in terms of service, music etc. But many don’t want to, which may leave you trying your best to recall favourite hymns of theirs or readings.
Some people may have logged what they want at their funeral on My Funeral Matters so it’s worth trying there but often it’s left to family or friends to decide.
We’re not going to lie; it can be stressful as you’re planning an event at a time when you’re also grieving. You become an events manager at one of the most surreal times of your life. But, weirdly, it can also be cathartic and there will be moments of joy during recollections as you create a service that reflects your loved one, as well as the inevitable sadness as you listen to their favourite music or choose photos of them.
Some people want lots of people to come to the service, others just family - there’s no right or wrong. There’s also nothing wrong with asking people to let you know if they’re coming to the ceremony, so you can plan for numbers.
KEY THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
What kind of service would you like it to be e.g. traditional?
Will it be a cremation or burial?
Who will do the readings?
Who will say the eulogy/tribute, if you’re having one? (You can write it and ask someone else to read it)
What kind of music would you like? Will the church allow non-traditional music?
What facilities does the place you’re having the funeral/ceremony have in terms of playing music or streaming the service to those who can’t make it?
Who will do the flowers (if you want flowers)?
Who will carry the coffin?
What kind of order of service do you want?
Do you want people to wear black?
Will you be having a wake/drinks afterwards?
Do you want a Book of Condolence for people to sign afterwards? There are online versions if you don’t want a printed one.
Do you want a Book of Remembrance printed that contains messages/remembrances/photos people have sent you (these are actually not books but a booklet given out with the Order of Service at the funeral)
Cost - don’t overlook this. Ask your funeral director about deposits and what the payment plans are.
Look at the Essential Sadmin Checklist now for more things to think about.
Links:
The Good Funeral Guide
National Association of Funeral Directors
National Society of Independent Funeral Directors
My Funeral Matters
Essential Sadmin Checklist
Photo: Will Hulbert Photography